Grammar Wars and Peace
For years now, the grammar world has been at peace - but it wasn't always thus. According to the unwritten history addendum of the Glossary of English Grammar Terms, available as a free download at http://www.usingenglish.com/download.html, a war in ancient days nearly ripped the English language apart when the nouns and verbs, never the best of friends to begin with, nearly destroyed each other in the showdown. Lucky for us things got resolved - otherwise, we'd all be speaking Esperanto!
Allegedly, it was a noun that started the fight, when it called a verb walking down the street 'irregular' (apparently, the noun just couldn't abide the verb). Well, the verb leaped to a conclusion, and took the noun's epithet as fighting words. 'You can't talk to me like that - I'm nobody's fool,' the indignant verb told the noun. 'Maybe not,' answered the noun, 'but besides being irregular, you're a cliche, too!'
Things were beginning to heat up now. 'You and your kind are just trash - you're uncountable, besides being untouchable,' the verb lashed back. 'Oh yeah? Well, you're intransitive,' the noun answered. 'Better intransitive than inanimate, you airhead,' was the verb's response. That was it - the fight was on! The pair threw every insult in the Glossary at each other, and when word got out about what happened, the kinfolk on both sides got ready for a full fledged gang war! From the always on the move dynamic verbs and the tough looking but funny smelling copula verbs, to the happy go lucky abstract nouns and even the Chief Noun himself (a proper fellow, under normal circumstances), everyone got into the fray. Even the gerunds were giving as good as they got!
It took awhile for things to get sorted out; and after a little nudging by the interrogative pronouns - with their endless asking of 'why' brothers in language found it necessary to fight - a concord of sorts was reached. Now, there is agreement in the world of grammar, everybody says - although the antonyms and the synonyms still can't see eye to eye on things.
And to make sure that things stay calm, the Grammar Nation decided to set up a United Language Center of sorts - in the form of UsingEnglish.com, the on-line center of 'Resources for English as a Second Language' (http://www.usingenglish.com/). At UsingEnglish, language and the parts that make it up have a true home, where all questions about how to use the English language are resolved in the spirit of perfect - past, present, future and conditional - cooperation.
How useful is UsingEnglish? Well, without it, I would never have been able to put together that little story, with all its sly references to English language grammar - because I, like most English speakers, am a grammar ignoramus! It's only thanks to the Glossary that I was able to figure out that 'airhead' is an inanimate noun, or that 'why' is an interrogative pronoun. The point is that, although UsingEnglish is officially an ESL site, it offers plenty of tools (like the free Grammar Glossary download) that will provide hours of fun, not to mention a broad education, to native speakers of English.
In fact, UsingEnglish is so thorough, I can't figure out why registration, enabling users to take advantage of all its tools, is free (I've been bracing myself for an onslaught of 'learn a new language overnight' type spam in my inbox, but nothing's come in yet). If you want to hone your own language skills, or your kids' language skills, you'll find UsingEnglish a most useful site.
For example: You can access dozens of dictionaries from the UsingEnglish resources section (http://www.usingenglish.com/reference.html). Typing in the word 'house' on the English Language Glossary line (top left) took me to a page with no fewer than 66 links to dictionaries with references to the word - including straight English definitions, a rhyming dictionary, encyclopedia articles, a variety of language translations (including Hebrew), business, financial, theatrical, medical dictionaries, as well as giving examples of how the word is used in each context. No question about it - UsingEnglish thoroughly covers the word 'house,' or any other word.
Then there's the dictionary of phrases and idioms, the dozens of quizzes, articles on using English (how to write letters, essays, college admission letters, requests for grants, etc.), and the site's forums, where hundreds of users post questions every day about any and every English language related topic under the sun ('Which is more correct: 'I like just apple pie,' or 'I like only apple pie'?'). It wouldn't be hyperbole to say that UsingEnglish is one of the more useful sites on the Internet - in fact, it would be an understatement!
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